OK, I wrote this rant, then took it down, then thought “What the hell – people need to educate themselves how to act in public if their parents didn’t” , and edited it until it is a bit clearer . I’m going to try to make a point here, in a way that doesn’t make me seem unduly spoiled or angry, because I’m not spoiled or really angry. Also, I’m grateful to be able to perform music and get paid, and play for people that actually give a shit and listen. I just happen to have a website, so I can rant once or twice a year between posting fotos of weird old men on the street or stupid misspelled signs on restaurants, etc.
.
An intimate performance is a two-way interaction between the performer and the audience. If either party breaks the implied social contract, it all falls apart. Also, I say this not because I’m hurt (there will be other shows for me at least), but because I know as an audience member I’d have been sorely pissed-off at the situation the other night. This is what leads me to say the following, after experiencing this situation more than a few times in the last year…
—————————————
Our Auckland, NZ gig had all the makings of a great show – a sold out venue, empathetic and talented sound engineer (seriously, best sound of this leg of the tour so far as far as I’m concerned), comfortable stage (a hot room, but that’s because it was SOLD OUT), and an awesome, loving crowd – but there had to be ONE GUY right up front yelling the whole time, ruining any chance of setting an atmosphere.
.
Like Michael Jackson in “This Is Is”, i say this ‘with love’ (L.O.V.E.), what is your fucking problem? You vociferously claimed to be some kind of “biggest fan”, you even got there early so you could get a spot right in front of the stage, then proceeded to yell (YELL!) off-key through every quiet song like you were in your bedroom with headphones on, especially between phrases or in silent spots – oblivious to the hundreds of other people in the room trying to hear, THEN had the gall to yakety-yak with your buddy and girlfriend the rest of the time - loudly. It was quieter at the damned World Cup.
.
Everyone in the room hated you. The only reason nobody booted you or called you out as a goon was that they had too much class to ruin the vibe, the way you ruined it for me… singing along out of key at the top of your lungs so everyone within 30 feet who paid good money to see (and hear) a show heard your shitty caterwauling instead of the singer on the stage (at the QUIET ACOUSTIC MUSIC SHOW, hello?). That made it really difficult to concentrate, or sing in time & on key. Thusly fucking up my/our vibe and preventing the performers from giving other people what they paid for.
.
Again (with L.O.V.E.), I know you love Mark (we heard you yell it, 30 times), but sometimes you gotta shut the fuck up – it ain’t a pub show with your buddy on a stool playing Margaritaville. And being lit ain’t an excuse, that was just you being more you. Now get in your Camaro and go home and learn how to be a professional public citizen. What you did was the equivalent of farting in someone’s face who booked a fancy dinner reservation weeks in advance and sat down to an expensive meal.
.
OK, I’m done – I don’t expect (rock) shows to be like going to see Picasso at the Met or being in a library, all hush-hush, but respect the other people who also dig the music. I don’t come jump in front of your TV & block the view when you’re trying to watch Jersey Shore.
With love
Dave
.
PS
Other than that, I really enjoyed the show.
PPS
Nothing against people that own Camaros, or New Zealanders. There are plenty of louts all over the globe who should also read this. Agreed?
PPPS
I found out today that the guy was causing some row with our tour manager after the show, so much that security threw him out literally on his ass (he fell and landed on his ass). So justice was served, with a side order of charity (in the form of our TM not bashing his skull in).
…thkr
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
Thanks for sharing,David. It’s interesting to learn from your perspective of the concert.Hopefully, you can look back and laugh one day at the bastard because it seems we will always find that {one} that knows how to fuck it up for others.
July 4th, 2010
I try and catch Mark at every gig I can when he is on this side of the pond. (Have frequent flyer points, will travel!!!) I was meant to be at this gig (and the Wellington gig) but at the last minute was told I probably shouldn’t travel at the moment cos I’m pregnant. I saw The Gutter Twins twice last year. I travelled to Sydney and my hometown of Melbourne. Sydney was intimate and awesome. The crowd at the Melbourne gig wouldn’t shut up and or stay seated. People kept going to the bar during songs and then off the the loo to expel what they’d consumed. And fiddling with their iPods and shit, which would make the staff at the theatre swoop on them to tell them to knock it off, which was distracting. It annoyed a few people in the crowd and I couldn’t help but wonder if it annoyed those on stage…
It’s nice to know performers do care about what goes on in the crowd at a gig.
July 5th, 2010
This also happened at a IC/ML gig in Manchester in 2008 that I flew over from Australia for. Wished I’d had the guts to tell them to STFU. Respect people! If you dont have it then stay away or at least far away up the back. Here’s hoping that tomorrow nite at the Zoo we all show the <3!!!!
July 5th, 2010
THANK YOU so very much for being honest – I was there at the show in Auckland, front row also, and it was all I could do to not go over to the guy and shove a beer bottle up his ass. As if his horrendous ’singing’ wasn’t enough, that manic, obsessive, i-want-to-kidnap-you-and-have-your-children look that he fixed upon Mark the entire show, whilst entertaining, was more than a little creepy..
Apart from that, fantastic show – and you need not worry, the talent of both you and Mark combined was enough to compensate for the one asshole audience member!
July 5th, 2010
Trum, I was at the Isobel/Mark show you mention, and I was stood near the guy in question, who waited until the quietest moments between songs before shouting out the stupidest stuff. Sadly, these quieter shows occasionally (I/M in Bexhill and Mark/Dave in Nottingham) attract people who see these less boisterous performances as opportunities to draw attention to themselves in the most embarrassing way possible. No idea why – maybe it’s the proliferation of taping at these shows so they can point themselves out to their mates afterwards, or maybe they’re just a bit mental.
I was at a Jeff Klein show last weekend which was disrupted at the start by a table of very gobby women who wouldn’t shut up during the first song. Fortunately, thanks to a quick comment from the headliner, they soon buggered off
July 6th, 2010
well fucking said, sir!
July 6th, 2010
Dave, don’tcha just wish Greg was there to put things right?
July 7th, 2010
Agreed 100%. Adhere to the social contract at a show that is meant to be “intimate” or get the fuck out and go somewhere else and still not get any pussy. Miss you Davo. Can’t wait to have some cocktails and seafood when you get home.
July 8th, 2010
At the 3 shows I went to here there was much respect!!!
July 11th, 2010
I saw the twins live twice last year. In january in London and july in São Paulo. This year i had the chance to see the you and MR Lanegan performing in São Paulo again.
First of all i want to say that every one of those nights was amazing, the concerts were beautiful.
I think you have already realized that Latin Americans are very passionate haha.
Last year there were SO many woman screaming for Greg!!! But he controlled the audience, playing a little lower when people did too much noise (that’s a good tactic).
This year i was waiting to deliver a single to MR Lanegan and i meet you in front of the venue.
I came very early to be able to see the concert in a good spot. I had already seen the setlist from the previous concerts and i was hoping you guys to play, among other songs, “can’t catch the train” , and when you guys did, it was so beautiful that i cried. The whole concert was amazing, i travelled many miles to see you guys performing (once again ) and it worthed every cent.
Thank you for coming once again to Brazil and for the marvelous performing.
Ah, i am writing on this post to tell you that right behind me there was this huge japanese guy who kept on singing during the whole concert. Loud, out of key, out of time, wrong lyrics. Resuming, a complete idiot. I wanted to punch him. But i wouldn’t ruin my night because of him. Let him be idiot, what can we do? They’re everywhere.
Take care and come back to Brazil soon!
July 12th, 2010
Jeff Klein yelled at me for talking BEFORE the first song. I do not care for him.
July 21st, 2010
Reply to “Cockland”